We are bestowing a vision of authentic manhood
to the next generation of men!
Picture this:
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BANG! You’re dead!
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No I’m not!
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Yes you are. I shot you.
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You missed.
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No I didn’t.
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Yes you did.
What’s going on here? What mental image do you have of this scenario? I’ll bet you envision two boys. You probably imagine them to be around 10 years old. You picture them, no doubt, in jeans and t-shirts. They have toy guns in their hands and are hiding behind a tree or bush as they battle it out.
What you didn’t envision was two teenage girls - in dresses; their hair done up nice; a purse in one hand and a toy gun in the other, as they battle it out in the mall foyer. No, this kind of play is generally a guy thing.
That’s not to say that girls don’t play Army or “Cowboys and Indians.” But as evidenced by your mental image of the above scenario, we all see this as “guy kinda fun.”
According to James Dobson and John Eldridge the best group activities for boys and men involve the masculine thrills of adventure, competition, physicality, danger and destruction, exploration and an element of risk. Not that we need two experts to tell us that, but they definitely confirm what we already know.
Why do you think boys and their fathers can be so dedicated to sports? Most of America’s youth team sports bring all of the above elements of masculine thrills in a ready-made program. Just sign up, pay your fee, buy your uniform, and you’re in. The Boy Scout program does the same thing. The program, with its camping, hiking, and assorted other outdoor activities, is already up and running. Join a troop and share the experience with your son.
So how does one mix these ingredients into “guy kinda fun” for just a few buddies – a small group? I described the following activities to a class of parents studying Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys. Before I finished, a mom stopped me. She said, “Look around the room. Every man is leaning forward and sitting on the edge of his seat as they hear these stories.” Here is what I shared - they are some of the activities we have used in our Squires mentoring group:
Air rifle shooting:
Target shooting with a BB gun or pellet gun is certainly fun. But there’s no action. There’s no risk. We did a little target shooting to get warmed up, and then added some intensity to the activity. I tied five Coke cans to low lying branches hidden in the back woods of my property. I sent teams of two out along the property boundary, one man and one boy, timing them as they worked the perimeter, searching for the concealed targets. They had to find the cans (not knowing how many), shoot them from the boundary trail and reach a finish line as quick as they could. Missing cans and violating safety rules resulted in time penalties. They were given only ten pellets each. The pressure to expedite and the need to find and shoot each target raised the competition to a new level.
My brother, a former army soldier, took his assignment in this backyard activity very serious. By the last target, he was asking for timing updates while he utilized Army marksman techniques to maximize his shooting accuracy.
Archery:
Again, target shooting was a mere warm up. We then tied a target (a paper filled box) to a zip line with the archers lined up for its pass. With that, we were striving to hit a moving target!
Paintball:
This sport has all of the elements boys love – competition, physicality, and risk. Boys have a natural desire to fulfill the role of protector. Role-play with guns is, therefore, inevitable for boys. If they are not provided opportunities for this role-play, they will invent their own; making an imaginary gun out of a stick, other toy, their hand, or even their peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And, if safety is a concern, a well-supervised and well-behaved group can follow the safety rules.
During one of our games, a Dad had his first opportunity to play paintball. In the middle of the game, he moped his way out of the thicket of woods with his left forearm raised. It seems he didn’t have time to clear the ground ahead of him as he attempted to dive out of a spray of paintballs. Landing on his belly with his left arm straddling a cactus, he felt the sting of a busted paintball on his side, the sting of cactus needles in his arm, and the sting of defeat on his ego.
Capture the Flag:
Our version of Capture the Flag features a single guard (me) standing in one position, protecting a flag placed nearby. We play this game at night and I use a million candle-watt spotlight. But I don’t use the light as a searchlight; I use it as my weapon. If I see an enemy with my naked eyes, I beam the light on him, killing him and making him return to his base to regenerate. The boys (and adult men) must strategize, covertly maneuver, camouflage, and navigate through the woods to sneak by me and capture the flag. They love it.
One evening, following a game of capture the flag, Darwin, a dad in his 50’s, discovered he had lost his glasses. He was sure he had lost them under a tree next to our campfire. We searched and searched to no avail. I finally suggested we wait till morning when it was light. My son and I would have better luck then.
When our search the next morning came up empty, I asked my son where Darwin was during the game of capture the flag. My son explained how Darwin had low-crawled ahead of him in an old cattle corral. So we returned to the place, not far from where I was guarding the flag, where Darwin, our mature adult competitor, had dared the elements (cactus, snakes, scorpions) to win the game. There, in the grass, we found his glasses.
Men never grow out of their boyhood fun.
Construction equipment:
I had upwards of 50 yards of dirt piled up in my back yard following the construction of our house. I also have a friend with a skid-loader and a tracked excavator. I put those two facts together with a need for a mentoring group activity. The result was half a dozen teenagers taking turns learning how to operate this heavy equipment to move the dirt where I wanted it. Walla…cheap labor.
Wood cutting:
Much of our group’s teaching is done after sunset around a campfire. Campfires need wood. And what a great activity for a bunch of guys to do – cutting and splitting firewood. Guys can do it for hours…and enjoy it. In fact, I often had to ask the adult men to give up an ax to let the boys have a chance to cut.
Teaching around a camp fire:
Although not always,this is our preferred venue for teaching. We roast hot dogs over the fire, eat, then talk (they have a hard time eating and listening at the same time). I prepare a lesson and get the men and boys to participate in a discussion.
Frisbee Golf or Ultimate Frisbee: Easy and inexpensive.
Service Projects:
Community Bible Church had been moving furniture, household goods and food goods from contributors, through a warehouse, to the Katrina hurricane evacuees in San Antonio. We offered this service through volunteers from the church. When I offered to bring 15 to 20 men and teenage boys to work for a few hours, rather than sorting canned goods, toilet paper, and diapers, the coordinator had visions of moving vans being loaded at the warehouse and then unloaded at an apartment complex. So we turned masculine muscle strength and endurance into a machine of provision. We delivered furniture to empty apartment living rooms and bedrooms for those who lost everything and had taken up temporary or permanent residence in San Antonio.
Short-term Missions Trips:
My vision for these boys is to have them work together for Christ in an area of severe need. I would like them to experience the blessings of service and evangelism on a mission trip. I want them to experience “favor with God and men,” to “stand firm in the faith,” and “do everything in love” as they “bear the likeness of the man from heaven.”
Many of these activities require certain resources. The most obvious would be the need for a good chunk of private land. Certain equipment is also needed for many of the activities. These resources are not available to everybody. But keep in mind, the above activities are primarily offered to illustrate creative ways for planning “Guy Kinda Fun.” Discover the favorites for your boys and then create your own activities. Or join an existing program with built-in “Guy Kinda Fun.” And finally, as you share your mentoring experiences with others, you will find that God will provide additional resources. People will hear your stories and be inspired to offer their resources for such a worthy cause for Christ.
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